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Privacy Policy

1. Introduction

You care about your privacy. Maybe you are a seekrit person or whatever. We make this for you because you all freaked out and stuf. This help you decide you come back or not. Or whatever. We make this to shut you up oka????

2. Types Of Users

Cardboard*Con have many type of peoples. Which one you are? Look and see oka???

  1. Bossy Person. You come look round, decide if liking the things. Maybe you come to get badj? We don’t care. Maybe you really tall or have yellow hair? That don’t mind anyhow. Man, you crazy about this stuf. Maybe you come for boxes or informations or whatever. That fine. Just calm down.
  2. Cardboard*Con. If you are us, then you have to tell us.
  3. Faceboo or Twitter come in here. Maybe you get here because of them. That fine. How you not know this???
  4. Website. If you visit this websites you are Website Visitor. DUH. How dum people are?????

3. Type Of Informations collect

3.1 Information you provide

  1. Personal Information. If you send us your name, email, phone, fax, house number, twitter name, or any other contact informations when you here or if you click on send or grant permissions in anything that tell something about you, then you gave us that. Even if we no ask. WHY YOU DO THAT?? We don’t have it if you don’t give it to us. CALM DAN!!
  2. Billing Information. For example when you get a badj if your name is BILL. Calm DAN BILL!!!!
  3. Facebook Page Information. For example, the list of pages you manage on Facebook and information from those pages granted when you authorize our Facebook application. (FACEBOK WRITE THIS ONE, DAN!!!)
  4. 3 Party Information. We too tired from first 2 party go to threed party. You are PARTAY Aminal!!!!
  5. Settings and Account Information. There only one setting and we set it so CALM DAN, DAN!!!.
  6. Campaign Data. Nobody run for office, no way this get used.

3.2 Information we get from your usage of our services

  1. Device and Browser Information. DID YOU KNO WE CAN TELL WHAT YOU ARE DOING JUST BECAUS YOU VISIT?? It true. We see your computer number, mouse system, performance trackings, IP address, browser name and other identifiers sent along with browser requests.
  2. Log Information. Computers track where people go, even on Cardboard*Con DOT COM. We don’t know how to EXACT track YOU DAN, but we see GENERAL TRENS!!.
  3. Location. Unless you hackerzzz3l33tz you not stop from see WHERE YOU AT!!! But not down to the chair.
  4. Referral Information. If you get here from FACEBOO we might be able see that trail, but that about it. We don’t kno what color your shoes.
  5. Tracking Tags. We got simple tracking tags, in form of cookies and web beacons to try figure out why people come here and maybe make them STOP!!! It called usage statistics. Not scary to us but we live in dumpster.
  6. Cookies and Local Storage. Not sure if we use cookies many but if we do then we better told you.

4. How Collected Information Is Used

It used barely at all because we not making money from this thing so why we check?? Not very motivationals, even for these reasons:

  1. market and promote Cardboard*Con to nerds
  2. track our funniest campaigns and “marketing” efforts.
  3. respondings to your questions, and make you smooth
  4. understand why you won’t go away from this site
  5. make sure no bad guys try get in.
  6. make sure you not afraid of us.

Below we describe additional information usage as it relates to specific types of users.

4.2 Customers

We use your information to fulfill our contractual responsibilities to deliver services to you, which are scant.

4.3 Participants

This means us. We are participating!!! GIVE US A PRIZ

4.4 Space Pirates

You essentially agree to heave to and surrender if any space pirate approaches you with demands of surrendering the booty. Any said surrenderage is between you, the space pirate, and the constabulary of the planet, planetoid, spacecraft, or any structure intended to preserve your life against the vacuum of space.

  1. Allowing you to pre-populate your name, email address and other fields in a form. But we don’t know how to do that.
  2. Allowing you to participate in a campaign but hiding who you actually are, you sly devil.
  3. Allowings you to share, follow, or some other enabled action as part of participation in a campaign or accidental butt post.
  4. Allowing you to use the website as inspiration to continue living. Please do this often.

5. How We Share Information

We share information as described below and where individuals have otherwise consented.

  1. Participant Data. We tell people that you participated IF they will listen to us, which rarely happens.
  2. Participation Trophies. These have been discontinued because we ran out of rich sponsors. Are you a rich sponsor? Call us. Or whatever.
  3. Affiliates & Business Transfers. We may tell FRIENDS of FRIENDS about you. Especially if you hot.
  4. Legally Required. We are old enough to “do stuf”. You understand?
  5. Protection of Rights. If we get in troubles, YOU get in troubles, but like 20 times more because we not protect you, you crinimals!!!

6. Cookies, Pixels, & Tracking

We eat cookies, puddings, and similar dessert technologies to feel better about having to write this long information confession to you. We may also serve up interest-based advertising on a whim. But this is incredibly unlikely. We may decide to utilize third-party services that use tracking technologies when you visit our site. For example, our cookie related technology may include use for:

  1. Making the site 3D. Unfortunately this doesn't actually work. THANKS A WHOLE LOT, DAN.
  2. Performance and Functionality. This website offers neither functionality OR performance. Sorry Charlie.
  3. Usage Tracking. We might use pixels, cookies, or hidden ninjas to to measure how good our non-existent marketing efforts are going, and to see how and why you use Cardboard*Con DOT COM.
  4. Google Analytics. We can see which page people go to a lot. It so crazy!!
  5. Facebook Analytics, Advertising, & Social Features. We may use Facebook technologies to show stuf you like but probably not because we analyze website every year or two for about 5 minute before get BORED BORED BORED BORED. You not make us rich enougf.

You can ALWAYS remove or disable cookies in your browser settings. Why you no do this??

7. Super Models

We are not picky. You can be plain too, like most people. Even supermodels are people too. Stop judging people. Jeepers.

8. Our Commitment To The EU-US Privacy Shield

Cardboard*Con only loosely complies with the EU-US Privacy Shield Framework as set forth by the US Department of Commerce regarding the collection, use, and retention of personal information from European Union member countries. Cardboard*Con is unwilling to go so far as to say that it adheres to the Privacy Shield Principles of Notice, Choice, Accountability for Onward Transfer, Security, Data Integrity and Purpose Limitation, Access, and Recourse, Enforcement and Liability, simply because it may require some sort of court fees in Brussels and Brussels smells like turnips this time of the year. If there is any conflict between the policies in this privacy policy and the Privacy Shield Principles, the Privacy Shield Principles shall govern.

In compliance with the EU-US Privacy Shield Principles, Cardboard*Con cannot commit to resolving complaints about your privacy and our collection or use of your personal information. European Union individuals with inquiries or complaints regarding this privacy policy should calm down and realize that Cardboard*Con isn’t just any old website!

Cardboard*Con will hide in a dumpster until the appropriate EU Data Protection Authorities have wandered off to discuss the Privacy Shield with somebody that cares. These recourse mechanisms are available for $500/minute, where legal. Possibly more if we can get away with it.

Cardboard*Con eschews ALL responsibility for everything.

The International Cardboard Commission has ZERO jurisdiction over Cardboard*’s compliance with this Policy and the EU-US Busybody network. In certain situations, we may be required to disclose personal data in response to lawful requests by public authorities, including to meet national security or law enforcement requirements. That will be SCARY!!! As a last resort, privacy complaints that remain unresolved after pursuing these and other channels may be subject to binding arbitration beside the dumpster behind the bakery, in the alley across from the liquor store. You know the one.

9. Security

Stop sharing all your information!!!

10. Children’s Privacy

We try not to post anything that is too mature on this website but it's always best to accompany your children any time they venture online because this site is not specifically designed to accommodate a general audience.

11. Contact Us

If you have questions about our privacy policy keep them to yourself. We full.

12. Changes To Our Privacy Policy

If we change our privacy policies, we will update this page. If our changes materially affect your privacy rights, we may provide notice of changes prominently on our website or to your email address of record. Where required by law we will obtain your consent or give you the opportunity to opt out of such changes. Or whatever.

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