Cardboard*Con Guests

Attendees of Cardboard*Con 2023 are not the sort who are easily impressed by champion meme-shapers like George Takei, former child actors like Wilt Whedon, or glib-tongued writers like Jox Weston†, creator of a popular space cowboy series called “Foxfire”. No, our fans are the sort of people who get excited about the feel of a well-folded flap, fabric-reinforced packing tape, the percussive sound of a craft knife shuddering across the grain of a corrugated panel.

Suggest a Guest!

Have guest suggestions? Tweet us @cardboardcon or use the contact form on this website!

2023 Pending Guests

Have some suggestions for next year's guests? AWESOM!!!!

Don't see YOUR name listed as a guest? Check to make sure you paid USD$5,000 to Cardboard*Con and not Idris Elba, who is in no way related to Cardboard*Con or Cardboard*Con Oil & Mining Concerns. CAUTION: There is currently no way to be certain that this list is reliable, due to entropic coriolis effects on hypertext. A reduction on entrance fees will be forthcoming.

2020 Guests

Drew Ferengo

Confirmed!

Just completing a 10-year stint as the Commissioner of the FCA, Drew Ferengo will discuss the economic implications of the modern cardboard economy. Female humans who wish to attend should disrobe prior to the presentation..

William Shatner

Confirmed!

Your favorite guest William Shatner (the custodian) returns again this year to charm attendees with his riveting stories of cleaning up after Cardboard*Con. Hold onto your hearts, ladies and gentlemen, he even has keys to the trash compactor!!!.

Mister Sulu Dude

Unconfirmed

Due to the theme of this year's convenshun we are adding as many Star Trak actors as possible, although we don't really know how to get in touch with them and would hate to bother them about this since we can't really seem to get you people to pay us anything for your badjs. This is what we Star Trak fans call "the trouble with hobbits".

Jeffries Tube

Confirmed!

Unsung star of multiple Star Trak series, there are many tubes out there, but only one belonging to Jeffrey!! Bring your autograph books!!!

Hipster Pie

Confirmed!!!

Last seen at our 2015 event, local Star Trak fan Hipster Pie will make her second appearance at Cardboard*Con this March where she will debut her new white paper regarding cardboard in space in the 22rd century.

Mister Tiger

Confirmed: he not coming!!!

Our nominations committee came back to us with a hard request that Mister Tiger direct our next Cardboard*Con commercial but our regular director Captain Drew has threatened to file a grievance.

JP Parade Lady

Confirmed!!

Famed parade organizer "JP Parade Lady" will be advising us on how to organize the crush of attendees in our famed 2020 Parade 'Pon Peachtree. If you do not have a parade ribbon you must move to the front of the parade. Please observe all traffic rules. DO NOT LOOK DIRECTLY AT JP!!!!

Andy Leach

Confirmed!!

Andy will be bringing 35 years of experience from famed Chattanooga-based convention Chattacon to our 2020 con suite as he celebrates his upcoming nuptials!!

Famous Renaissance Festivaler

Unconfirmed: unavailababe?

Nominated through sheer popularity, real-life anime person Elfa Schmiddleborough will not be available due to a previous commitment with her 1980s reenactment group.

Saint Jon

#MB18 TOP SEEKRIT

Fresh from his ascension at Dragon Con, this knockabout saint may (or may not) make an appearance at the 11th Annual Cardboard*Con, depending on whether the compactors are working and he's not out fighting a holy war.

2019 Guests

Derek Jefferson

He found US!!

Born in Columbus, Georgia, Derek always felt he had a message to share, and decided to become a guest at Cardboard*Con and he succeeded!! Derek says that he is inspired to continue pushing himself creatively and we were happy to have him join us at our 10th anniversary. If you like the Boondocks then you will love Derek's comic book "Homeless Homeboy" from content, to characters, to heart-warming moments. Pop on over to his Kickstarter and buy yourself a copy of his comics in PDF format!

Alton Brown

Technically not a guest but he still showed up

Despite our utter delight that Atlanta's own Alton 'Good Eats' Brown "appeared" at the 10th Anniversary Cardboard*Con as a "guest" we are sorry to announce that due to his lack of cardboard attire he was disqualified from being a guest by a very drunk Chewboxxa, who was nonetheless thrilled that Alton tried out his extremely dry cornbread (from "Cornbread*Con"). TO BE CLEAR, PEOPLE: Alton was NOT a guest!!! There. That should throw the lawyers off our trail. Yeah, he was totally a guest. Or whatever.

Mista Collins

Probably Not Invited (by oversight)

Star of such shows as "Supernatural Season 5" and "Supernatural Season 6" and several other shows, like "Supernatural Season 9" and "Supernatural Season 13", Mista Collins will undoubtedly be disappointed to learn that he was not selected to be a special guest status at the 10th Annual Cardboard*Con due to a misguided belief by our guest selection committee that we are in some sort of cardboard trade war with Vancouver. Which we are not. Not specifically. Not officially. Sorry, Mista. (Or should we say "COMRADE"???)

MORE IMPORTANT GUEST ANNOUNCEMENTS PENDING
Meanwhile, puzzle over these nuts.

Toddbeard

You Just Never Know

Founder of competing convention CardBeard*Con, a convention that is far more obscure than Cardboard*Con (which has been proven by mathematicians from Stanford to be statistically impossible). Often seen with Belle, founder of Cardbow*Con, a convention dedicated to people who prefer to wear cardboard bows in their hair. Weird, right?

Robby Hilliard

Uninvited for Extreme Politeness

In 2018 Robby made an incredibly gracious and heartfelt tribute to Toddbeard of Cardbeard*Con, ending a very messy public dispute that had lasted more than a year. Unfortunately, Robby's speech was made at the National Chapter of Dental Surgeons in a completely different hotel, and Toddbeard remains unaware of Robby's attempt to end their conflict. As a result Toddbeard has put a bounty on Robby's cardbeard. It is highly unlikely that Robby will be willing to endanger his beloved cardbeard by making a public appearance.

Leigh Boros

Extremely Irritated

Well known fightstarter Leigh Boros is extremely irritated with her husband Robby's infatuation with Cardbeard*Con and even more angry with the coverage that Robby's conflict with that small band of weirdos has garnered on our convention's guest page despite the fact that she built a cardboard Greased Lightning for Cardboard*Con several years ago. Leigh needs cardboard counseling. Unfortunately, that isn't this year's theme.

Chuck!

Confirmed!

Chuck will once again reprise his role as the load-in/load-out manager for Cardboard*Con, representing a dangerous move by the convention to secure the entire management team from that other convention that happens in Atlanta 6 months after Cardboard*Con. Whatever.

Captain Lazarrrr

He Misses Us

Captain Lazer is strange weirdo from beyond. Him blow up with cardboards and rush to danger with cardboard. Him is everywhere that cardboard is and nowhere that cardboard isn't. Him is Lazer. Call him Leroy much?

Wes Wilson

WINO-DELUXE

Wes is the big cheese at Play On Con, an annual family-friendly four day fantasy and science fiction fandom convention held for the benefit of people with Gamingtons Syndrome. Wes' passions include NOT putting the letter 's' after the apostrophe after his last name when using the possessive. He was once haunted by the ghost of the leader of a non-existent Latin-American nation, but he finallly got that all cleared up, we think.

Crisp Ratt

Not Invited!

A perennial non-invitee, a perennial no-show. As the star of such films as "Man in a Hole", "The Shoeshine Man Cometh", "Space People 1", and "Space People 2", Crisp may (or may not) ever find out about Cardboard*Con, but if he does it will certainly be interesting for him to know that he would have been paid TWICE as much as the other guests. But that was then. You get paid the same as everybody now, loser.

Please note that if you want a guest to sign your costume you must bring your own Sharpie!

Footnotes

† - you know, Jim Womble, the guy who invented Buffer the Vampire Hunny? Foxfire? He directed Avenchers??? That guy? Totally overrated in our opinion.